Zombie Apocalypse

Those who know me may know recently, I’ve been watching A LOT of zombie content. Like, A LOT. Why? I’m not too sure.

A question that’s been on my mind because of this, though, is what would you do if zombies took over?

While two weeks ago, I might have told you I would kill myself on the spot, I’ve changed my mind. Some may call this delusion, but I think I could survive. Even more, I feel like I could thrive.

As they say, you can do anything you put your mind to. With all the research I’ve done, I think I’m prepared for any type of zombie. The Last of Us, the Walking Dead, Zombieland, World War Z, Zone One, Severance, I could take them all. (Maybe not World War Z).

Nuclear apocalypse, I don’t know about. The Road kind of scarred me from that one. I need my sunlight.

Zombies can’t fly planes, right? So, like every other bitch, I’d move to an island. In this case, I’d kill two birds with one stone and learn how to drive a boat. I think I would Noah’s ark it, take my friends and family that weren’t zombies (duh) and some animals, and then establish a Bill and Frank level safe haven.

Upon arrival, my team and I would sweep the island. I am anti-gun, other than in the case of a zombie takeover. Like most things, I think I would be a natural. Some may say otherwise, but I was blessed with an extremely precise sense of intuition, and I’m a lefty. I could make it work.

I’ve been called an Alpha on occasion, so do with that what you will.

Okay, now let’s talk island ban list:

1. Beyond beef (I’m allergic)

2. Almond milk (I’m allergic)

3. Peanut butter (for laughs) (and I’m allergic)

4. All robots (they scare me)

5. Identical twins (they scare me) (I think they’re hiding something)

6. Philosophy majors (I don’t like talking about philosophy) (I don’t know what philosophy is)

7. People who can’t swallow pills (could never survive an apocalypse)

8. People who flush their tampons (I imagine, if my island had a sewage system, it would be too fragile to handle this)

9. People who wear clear shoes (I don’t want to see your feet)

10. Zombies

11. Hamsters and Guinea pigs (I don’t like the looks of them)

12. Barefoot shoes (get the fuck off my blog)

13. People who own cryptocurrency

14. People who don’t wear socks with sneakers (there’s something deeply wrong with you)

15. People who use reusable toilet paper (fuck the earth)

16. Gluten (Mia told me she would kill herself; this is how I’ll remember her) [1]

17. People who write poetry (there’s a zombie apocalypse going on, I think we have to go through enough) [1]

18. People who have tried to go viral on reels and failed (the secondhand embarrassment would take me out before any zombie would)

19. Robert Moses (He’s dead, but I’m not a huge fan) (Plus, it is a zombie apocalypse, and better safe than sorry)

20. LED lights

21. CEOs (I don’t like their energy)

22. Umbrella hats

23. People who put on press on toenails (I’ve never met one of you, but I wouldn’t like to) [2]

24. People who eat their placentas and/or make umbilical cord art (needs no explanation) [2]

25. People who prefer Montreal bagels to New York (you can't cure bad taste)

26. Men who vape (fuck gender stereotypes for everything but this)

27. People who run to make stoplights (zombie hunting can be about the rush, but it’s also a waiting game. The trick is knowing when to do what. This tells me it’s a skill you haven’t yet mastered)

28. People with no passcode on their phones (you’re too trusting, it’s suspicious)

29. People who don’t understand escalator etiquette (not much going on in there, from what I’ve gathered) [3]
    

While doing this research for this list, it was suggested to me to add Fedoras, but I don’t know. I wouldn’t be mad about it.

Now that I’m thinking about it, this island has to be remote enough that there isn’t a bridge to it, and it’s small enough to gain control over but big enough so there’s tech stuff. (I assume in the case of a zombie apocalypse, there will no longer be wifi; I guess what I mean is I need to bring along some tech person. And some CCTV cameras).

I also guess I would need to finally learn how to drive.

More things I need:

1. Some way to play music without electricity

2. Someone who knows about farming. Mia, if you’re reading this, good thing you’re going WOOFing this summer.

3. A plane, maybe a fighter jet or something, but flying is one of those things I don’t think I could master. Aerospace majors at Brooklyn Tech, I’m looking at you, I guess.

4. I would love to have a couple of goats—goat cheese, baby goats, etc.

5. Sunscreen

6. A construction worker who knows how to build houses, specifically if the island is uninhabited

7. Guns (duh)

8. The writer(s) of home alone, the modern-day Bible for booby trappers.

9. A first aid kit, tweezers included [4]

10. A desalinator

11. Animals for eating (sorry, vegetarians)

12. A textile maker and a seamstress (I guess this isn’t a need, but I’m thinking long game here). I guess, to prepare for this, I SHOULD learn how to cobble.

13. A psychic, to keep things interesting.

14. Chickpeas (I’ve been really into hummus)

15. A sleeping mask. [4] I’m kind of hurt I didn’t think of this one myself.

Like many things in life, this is a work in progress. Let me know if there’s anything to add.

Thank you to Mia (1), Georgia (2), Sidney (3), and Celeste (4) for your contributions to the ban and need lists.

Violet

AI Takeover?

I’m scared of a robot takeover. Im just gonna say it. I don’t care if this makes me sound like an AARP member, it’s the truth. Sometimes, when falling asleep, I feel as if I can see an ai monster lurking in the closet.

Maybe this is bad to say online since robots can read, but I need to speak my truth. I hope it doesn’t make me one of the first targets. Robots, if you’re reading this, I love you ❤️ and I support you ❤️. Inspector Gadget’s only weakness was that he was part human. Bender is my favorite Futurama character ❤️. I loved the terminator!

Wait - what would happen if all robots banded together and became one, kind of like the Cordyceps in the Last of Us? What would happen to people with robotic limbs, electronic arms, and legs?

Maybe it would be like that time-old joke “stop slapping yourself,” which you say while forcing someone to slap yourself. (Cultural reference explanations for my Canadian readers. I’m not sure what’s different up here). Except, unlike in the joke, it wouldn’t be “funny.” It would be real. Too real. With Google search history, they would even know everything about us. With this blog, AI might even be able to learn how to become me.

It could take identity theft to a whole other level. I’m not sure how many of you watched You, but in S1 (I think), Joe Goldberg’s classic move is to take his victim’s phones and post on their socials, “I’m moving,” or maybe “I’m going off the grid.” Post-death by robot, they (since they are robots, duh) could presumably hack into my phone and just continue blogging. No one would even know what happened.

Sure, my friends and family, and even the people who live on my floor, would probably know something was up, but hey - maybe, in this case, they’ve been slain by a robot too.

This is why, as a stand for humanity, I will never download Chat GPT. Maybe I am unsafe on the internet, but you will not catch me spending my time knowingly teaching AI how to eventually take me down.

So, despite your best efforts, Spotify, I will NOT try your AI DJ.

I didn’t lie. I do actually like some robots. However, they’re all make-believe. The real demons lurk in reality, as they say. I love Inspector Gadget. I wish I were Inspector Gadget. I know my life probably wouldn’t be that much better, governmental experimentation and such, but you can’t blame a girl for dreaming.

He just has so many helpful limbs and body parts, seemingly one for every situation.

I wonder what would happen if your tongue was a sponge texture and super absorbent. And you could squeeze it out. Would it get moldy? I don’t think so.

How would your life change if your arms were a foot and a half longer?

These are questions that Inspector Gadget might be able to answer, if given the chance. If you say this is not what Inspector Gadget’s gadgets are like, I would have to tell you that maybe you don’t know as much as you think. Which one of us just looked up famous robots? It’s probably not you.

-Violet

NEXT IN FASHION - Full Review

[SPOILERS] What should have gone down in Next In Fashion

I’ve been talking a lot about this show with my fellow Project Runway LOVERS, and I have many thoughts, so I figured I would write them all out and share my opinion. Since I am removed from a script’s bias, I believe I can make better judgment calls than our “impartial” judges, Tan France, Gigi Hadid, and others.

I’ve never been a Tan France Stan, so I have to preface this by saying Tan and Gigi come nowhere close to Tim and Heidi. BUT, Next in Fashion is far better than Making the Cut. By far.

Please excuse the janky as fuck photos; I was scared to do a deep dive for the images on Google because I’ve accidentally spoiled Project Runway to myself one too many times. And - I couldn’t be bothered to get around Netflix’s screenshot blocker.

Episode 1 - ROYALTY

First off, it’s crazy to me that they got Donatella Versace to be on the show. Starting off strong, I recognized the “famous” guest judge, unlike in Project Runway.

Eliana

I hated this. I’m sorry. I hated this shape, the fabric, the bow. Her inspiration was Poseidon’s wife, and while the oceanic vibe definitely came through, this looked more clam-like, if anything. I’m not sure what it is, but this fabric gives me the shivers.

Bao

Bao’s inspiration was Guanyin, a fertility goddess. I absolutely hate the color combo. Salmon and gold? No, thank you. I guess her stablemate Eliana’s oceanic theme was too strong of an influence. Maybe it’s because I’m looking at this photo with my computer on the dimmest setting, but she looks like a hotdog bun with ketchup squirted all over it.

Desyrée

Yeah, not a fan. Prince Charming? Not too sure what’s going on with the shoulder cape.

Godoy

Nope. She looks like a disgruntled bee. This was modeled after Ru Paul. My least favorite part is the two shades of black.

James

Sidney, who is also watching this show, read my mind when she texted me “James using Harry Styles as his style inspo, immediately ick.” Those who know me well know that I do NOT like Harry Styles, and I like his fashion even less. So, from the jump, James was on my bad side. This look didn’t prove me wrong.

Qaysean

IMO, this was the look that deserved to go home. It didn’t fit, was ugly, and looked like you could find it at Spirit Halloween. Also, her ass was fully out, except for a thin zipper down the crack. You do you, Qaysean.

Amari

Needing to pick my battles this challenge, it wasn’t the worst. But still, not my favorite. Maybe it was the rhinestone bra?

Nigel

This is one of my weaker photos, but this was one of my favorites. I like Nigel. Would I wear it? No. But I wouldn’t wear most of the outfits on this show, so what are you gonna do?

Courtney

The dress is pretty, but the judges said it themselves. It was too casual for the challenge. Oops!

Usama

This is the look that went home. Shocker, right? Over Qaysean? Well, that’s “reality” for you. There are a few hypotheses circling about why the judges made the choice. Was it the drama? Was it because they loved Qaysean’s ponytail so much that they couldn’t let him leave (Siobhan’s opinion)? Or did they not want to look bad by sending the one guy with a disability home on day 1? Ask Gigi Hadid; I don’t know what to tell you.

Deontré

This was also one of my favorite looks. I don’t have much to say. I liked the floor-length du-rag, and the puffer felt regal. He won, and I wasn’t mad about it.

Megan

I loved this look. It almost felt like an extreme version of something you could find at a Rachel Comey sample sale. (I have this one mini dress, metallic, textured, puff sleeve thing in mind. I also think the colors play a part in this).

Episode 2 - FLORALS, GROUP CHALLENGE

Group challenges are a wild experience. There’s always that one person who (only child AF) ignores the rest of the group and does not compromise or pay attention to cohesion whatsoever. Shocker, it usually ends up sending them or one of their teammates home. Who woulda thought?

Group 1 - Floral Alien Wedding

They hated this look, even sending Courtney home for it. They said the dress was basic as fuck, and the only thing saving it was the flowers. While I don’t necessarily disagree, I don’t think it was THAT bad. It kind of reminded me of a less hideous version of Taylor Swift’s 2021 Grammys dress and mask look.

The picture makes this look bad, but in reality I kind of liked it. Personally, I think they could have sent Qaysean home again for this one because while he helped out, he did none of the creative directing.

This, to me, looked like she was mid-being eaten by a Venus Fly Trap. It was fine. The judges mentioned that the skirt was not up to par, and the cage underneath was clearly visible through the fabric. I agreed.

Initially, I didn’t mind this. Now, I like it less. IDK, ask me tomorrow.

Overall, I agreed with the judges on the lack of cohesion. You could argue for the rest (green), but the first dress does not fit the pattern at all. Where is the collaboration??

Group 2 - Seed to Grow

James struck again. To me, this looked like a simulation of what would happen if Peter Rabbit chewed his way out of a picture book and turned into a bearded hipster on his way to a wooden spoon carving class. It felt childlike to me, and I wholeheartedly disagree with Gigi’s comment about wanting to wear this around Manhattan. By Manhattan, maybe she meant Portland?

This was not my favorite. In a challenge all about unconventional materials, so much of this look was plain fabric. Plus, IMO, the flowers on the hip aren’t incorporated enough into the look. They look like they could fall right off, almost as if you glued on a fake bouquet you took off the rack at Michael’s.

LOVE. I liked the flowers coming out of the seams, and I loved it with the floral hair thing. Would I wear it? No. But, a win for me.

I liked this, kind of. It was cool. Not much to say.

Overall, this team was the clear winner. The cohesion! Deontré had an advantage from the last challenge, so he got to choose between the two teams (picking the first group). After it all, I wonder what would have gone down if he had chosen differently.

Episode 3 - REWORKED FASHION

Nigel

IMO, Nigel killed it. I loooove this. Naively, I was doubtful when he picked out the ombré puffer coat, but he proved me wrong.

Megan

Oh, Megan. I don’t even know where to look. It looks like an AI simulation of a future J-Crew design. The colors, the ruffles, everything. This is why we should be scared of robots. (More on this next blog post)

Godoy

I didn’t like it. Maybe if it had fit better? The boobs just seemed a little baggy. I feel like it was trying to hard to be J-Lo.

Bao

The periwinkle and white complemented each other really well; Bao did a pretty good job.

Eliana

Oh, lord. When this model started walking down the runway, I didn’t even know where to look. So much fabric, so many patterns. It felt like she had finished early, so she decided to continue sticking fabric on in random places until time ran out. What’s going on with the train?

Qaysean

This is the look that sent Qaysean home, and I couldn’t agree more. The shape of the top looks aggressively 2010s, and I hate the colors. Don’t even get me started on the car crash that is the peplum on the pants. I’ve never agreed with the judges’ choices more. And the shoes? In this picture specifically, it looks like an ostrich’s foot. I could see this woman as a subscriber of Good Housekeeping magazine.

Desyrée

Why is this specific model always half-shirtless? (Seed to Grow, James’ Peter Rabbit look). (He might not be. the same guy, turns out. IDK. They both have beards). Sorry, not sorry; I feel like I’ve seen this a million times before.

Amari

This looked like an Urban Outfitters/PacSun lovechild to me. I liked the skirt (a part of me wishes it was all denim), but not so much the top. I think it was the colors and her boob situation w/ the ruched neckline. Overall, it feels a bit too basic.

James

This is very James. I hate the quilt and the shape of the pants.

Deontré

I looooved this. It seemed like Gigi did, too, even saying, “Deontré, oh my god, he slayed mama!” Ok.

Episode 4 - CHILDHOOD INSPIRATION

Godoy

This, to me, just looked like Clark Kent in a wedding dress. I didn’t love it. I accidentally spent all of last week comparing him to Bruce Wayne instead, sorry not sorry. I’m just not a D.C. girl.

James

To me, this felt like J-Crew took on an equestrian-inspired set. Very Montauk. (Maybe not Montauk, I struggled with this one. I could be wrong, I’ve never been).

Nigel

Nigellllll. I liked this. Not much to say.

Amari

While it didn’t look similar, this reminded me of a candy bra. Pass. I could see the potential, but unfortunately, I had to see the execution.

Megan

I really liked the model’s styling, and the colors together are doing something for me. The long arms are everything.

Deontré

I didn’t like this. I’ve seen stuff similar to this before, and looked like the pieces were about to fall off the model’s body at any second. I’m done with the straps everywhere! If he had had more time to workshop it, I can see the vision. It’s very Spiderman.

Eliana

This look sent Eliana home. Honestly, I think it just didn’t fit the theme. Maybe if the challenge was to design the best look for a sexy loofah, she would have won.

Desyrée

Ermmm, I have thoughts. I loved the pants; they are amazing. The top, though, I’m unsure about. It kind of looks like a velvet band-aid hanging over her left shoulder.

Bao

I think the vision is there, but the way the wing things are sewn is the downfall for me. It just didn’t look sleek. I have no clue how to sew, so I don’t know what she would have changed, but the white and blue fabric squares looked like they had too much give between them or something.

Episode 5 - COLLABORATION

Godoy and James

Mr. and Mrs. Dracula. I’m not sure how many of you have seen the Vampire Diaries, but this seemed like something the vampires could have been wearing when being let out of the tomb. They went home for this, and to that, I say, sayonara. Massively awkward for Godoy, though, because he had an advantage and was the only designer able to choose his own partner. All that only to be kicked off? Yikes. I don’t feel bad at all, though. He was throwing mad shade at James when he was the one who picked him. Did you not see his previous looks?

Desyrée and Bao

I don’t like this, but I think I just don’t like Bao’s aesthetic. It’s too mesh, sharp, dominant, and sexy. I do think that they worked well together, though. The woman’s wear, specifically, feels corporate to me somehow. I don’t know why, since you’d never be able to wear this in an office.

Amari and Nigel

Amari and Nigel! I loved this combo of their two styles. The pants are not my favorite, and the woman’s underwear peeking through, but it was a win in my books.

Megan and Deontré

I am so glad they didn’t get kicked. I agreed with the judges on the seeming lack of cohesion between the two looks, but I was still a fan. To be honest, though, I am anti bloomer. Sorry.

EPISODE SEVEN - Met Gala, Camp

Deontré

This was so Katy Perry. It felt very hamburger dress, which isn't necessarily a good thing in my books. Hey, maybe I just don’t ‘get it.’ I will be transparent here and say I’ve never understood what camp really means. Don’t try and explain it to me. Still, according to the judges, this was that. I’m gonna trust them. I was scared the skin-colored leather wouldn’t look good on the model, but I don’t think it ended up being an issue.

Megan

I didn’t like this. It was way too baby bib for me. Sorry, Megan.

Bao

I liked this one; I felt like it was something I could see actually being worn. Bao’s concept was taking the desire for pockets on dresses and taking it to the extreme, putting pockets everywhere. Okay, I have something controversial to say. Pockets on dresses, no pockets on dresses, IDGAF. I’m so bored of this conversation. I guess I’ve never been on a red carpet, but don’t these people have assistants to hold all their stuff, following them around anyways? Whatever. In my experience, pockets just get in the way. BUT. I still liked this dress. She made it work.

Amari

This one was very Alice in Wonderland X Cinderella to me. I liked her concept, not her execution. The bottom half was messy AF. The color, specifically, made it work IMO, it suited the model’s complexion really well, and the shine of it felt very red carpet.

Desyrée

This was the winning look. I don’t like how the boxers ended up lying on the skirt. She literally just stuck them on?? The layout of the colors, too? There’s something missing.

Nigel

Oh, Nigel. I liked this concept, so I was cheering it on as it walked the runway, but looking back at it now, I am not a fan of the colors. This could be personal, as I tend to shy away from florals. The cape and the shape of the bodysuit is VERY Alice in Wonderland, especially with the caterpillar as his inspiration. Still, I feel like I’m distracted from that by the mishmash of patterns and textures between the two pieces. I’m curious what it would have looked like with a different choice of fabric.

Episode 7 - SWIMWEAR

Amari and Desyrée

The judges looooved this. WHY?? I HATE the speedo zipper on the pants. Sure, maybe it hasn’t been done before, but for good reason!!! Amari’s women’s bottoms were WAY too wide on the bottom, creating a diaper-like aesthetic. Plus, I hate the colors.

Nigel and Déontré

Nigel can do no wrong in my books, but this was a miss. Their fit on both models was incredibly lacking. You can’t even really tell in this photo, but the woman’s suit had sooo much gapping.

Megan and Bao

WHY MEGAN!! She should not have gone home for this. All this talk about their men’s look lacking innovation, but where was the innovation in either of the two other team’s women’s swimsuits?

Episode 8 - DECADES

Desyrée

Byeee Desyrée. I hate the Moto jacket. Sorry. Her modern spin on this was what? Turning it pink? Okay.

Amari

Nope, nope, nope. I don’t like it. Her construction!!! It felt like something I could see Emily in Paris wearing.

Nigel

Nigel killed it, as usual.

Deontré

I am an overalls hater. Not too sure about the windbreaker cape, either.

Bao

This is definitely 80’s. It felt a little boring, but I do love the 80s, so I wasn’t too mad. I just feel like Bao has one vibe and sticks to it.

Episode 9 - TRANSFORMATION

When Gigi and Tan announced this challenge, I was hoping for looks like the ICONIC color-changing dress by Sean in Project Runway S13, but unfortunately, that was not the case. What can you do.

Bao

This was the best transition by far. It changed smoothly, and while neither of the looks was all too impressive, I think this was the best of the round.

Nigel

This transition was not the most seamless. And, I’m not a huge fan of the final look.

Amari

When the model first walked down the runway, the judges only had nice things to say about the white jumpsuit. What? She looked marshmallow-like. The final look, too - I liked the neckline, but she looks like a tinker bell doll rescued from a mildewy basement fifteen years too late.

Deontré

This is sooo aggressively not my style. Not the worst of the worst. The transition was relatively seamless.

Episode 10 - FINALE

Bao

I liked the silver dress a lot, but I feel like this collection is too boring to be the finale. I also feel like she didn’t grow as much as the other designers. IDK. Anna had a good point when she said the judges always gave Nigel shit for never designing womenswear, but you never heard them say anything about any of the women avoiding designing men. Hmmmm…

Deontré

I was scared when he said he was going to wait until the end to mix and match the various pieces. My fear was a bit exaggerated, but I do feel like his looks had less of an impact because of it.

Nigel

The well-deserving winner. I loved this collection. He killllled.

And that's all of them. I love Nigel, NGL, he still doesn't beat my favorite Project Runway designer, Fade. Maybe Nigel's better, but Fade is still my #1.

Overall, Next in Fashion has gained a new fan (me). I will be watching S3.

- Violet

PS. If you disagree with me, take it up with my PR team. I will provide their contact information upon request.