Today was a disappointment. Every year, the days tick by as I await National Girlfriend Day. Who is still together from high school? What type of girlfriend post would those I follow create? Who had gotten together, who has broken up? These questions are constantly circling in my mind and usually I have no means to find the answers.
I spend 363 empty, holiday-free mornings and nights staring at the wall and crossing off days on the calendar. My days are mundane and often meaningless. That is, until National Girlfriend Day on August 1st and National Boyfriwnd Day October 3rd.
I had no idea today was the day when I woke up. I went on Instagram and didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. June and Ila were talking about it and I heard “golf day.” I thought it was a bit weird they both followed golfers who felt possessed to post but I was engrossed in my book and not really paying attention. The conversation continued, and when I finally clued in the realization hit. It was 3PM and I had not seen a single story.
I knew two years ago when I did a mass unfollowing and removing of people I had never spoken to from my high school that there would be some cutthroat decisions I would later regret. Usually it doesn’t bother me much but sometimes I think back on who I was in that moment and all the things I did wrong. How could I have known following my impulses could lead to so much misery?
I checked obsessively whenever I got a chance and only managed to see about three or four total. This was made worse by hearing about the stories those around me were seeing, so I reached out to Maddy knowing she would be in a similar boat. I’ve found that even though it’s hard to reach out, it’s important to talk to your friends during low points like this. She said that maybe as every year goes by people will post less and less, but I’m choosing to ignore her and keep hoping it’s a fluke.
Please reach out to those you know in relationships and ask them to do better.
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