I like to flatter myself by thinking that since the fifth grade I've changed a decent amount. Unfortunately, last night I rediscovered some of my old notebooks/journals and had to reckon with the fact that I haven't changed much at all.
I've decided to share some of the highlights.
As a child, I considered myself a bit of a writer. Up until yesterday, I wasn't quite sure why as I never really got around to doing any actual writing. I guess I had this assumption that I could write gold if I tried, but I had better things to do. Fortunately for you all, I do have quite a few original songs.
This song was inspired by the Hunger Games. Some of you may be surprised that I never got into fan fiction; I like to think in an alternate universe I did, gathering a massive fan base.
Here is another song I wrote:
I hope the pause = short pause and pause x2 = long pause helps to clarify some things for you.
For a brief period in fifth grade, I decided to become religious. To aid myself with my nightly prayers, I constructed this list of things to remember to bring up. I think by carbon dioxide leaks I meant monoxide, this may have been after learning about how you could die leaving a car running in a closed garage.
Here, I have a class seating chart. I am not exactly sure why I wanted this in my notebook, but I am sure I had a very good reason.
On December 3rd. Again, not sure why this was something I wanted to remember.
It was good to know that Tang (TANG) has always been something on my mind.
For about eight months from 2014-2015, I wrote "notes for the night" in my journal before bed every night I could manage. Notes for the Night consisted of me sitting beside my window, counting every car and person that went by. This went on for about fifteen to twenty minutes, where I would write down descriptors, like the outfits of these people, if there were any unique cars like a taxi or truck, and any other things out of the ordinary I noticed.
December 4 2014: Who knew ten minutes of looking out the window every night was taking such a toll on my sleep schedule! Clearly, it was worth mentioning the circles under my eyes.
This was separate from Notes for the Night, but still me keeping a watchful eye on my street. Some reason I felt that this was very important, mentioning it many times.
February 25, 2015: My gym teacher dyed her hair, and I had some very strong feelings about it. I also, when rereading these pages, was grateful for the helpful drawing on the bottom. The equation really helped me understand how Wednesdays used to make me feel!
March 31, 2015: This one was shorter on the descriptions, but I had a lot of life events to write about. Of course, I had to comment on how the day before I used the 23rd page of my notebook, which was crazy because my class numbers of both fourth and fifth grade had the number 23 in them. WOW! Then, I switched to pen, to demonstrate my strong feelings about this subject, to tell my journal how I felt about my sister having a golden birthday party. I wonder if I was just jealous my own "golden birthday" wouldn't be until I turned 22. Finally, I tied it off with one of many reminders to conduct a "glowstick experiment" which I described in thorough detail over and over throughout this notebook but don't think I ever conducted. I guess I will never know!
April 9, 2015: I'm glad I was so concerned about straining my eyes in low light. Hasn't done much good.
This one doesn't have a date, but I do still hate inventors. So true!
And now, the pom-pom saga. These three pages are spread over a couple of different days, with a common theme of me being a massive cunt.
In another notebook I have my friends Instagram bios chronicled. I'm not sure how I learned these, since this was before I had Instagram.
That's all I could bear to read for now...
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