Dreams Do Come True

Finally, after all these years, I’m able to fulfill my dreams of becoming a millennial, even if just for one night. I am Cinderella, and Tumblr/2010s/Indie sleaze party is my ball. For this ball, I am transforming into a hipster. Alienor and I were talking the other day about purpose. I don’t believe this is my peak, but still, I wonder, is it my purpose?

Throughout my life, I have heard many people say they felt God’s presence, or the spirits with them. I’ve never felt this for myself, putting it into the same category filled with doubt that I attributed to ‘shifting.’ (For those of my readers who weren’t on TikTok in 2020, ‘shifting’ is when people believed they could transport themselves into fictional worlds such as Harry Potter, or as Dextero says (whatever Dextero is) “moving your consciousness into an alternative reality.” No, this isn’t the same as dreaming - to those who ‘practice’ it).

All this aside, when making my costume, I felt the spirits coursing through me, as if my life had been leading up to this moment, my ancestors guiding hand as I made mustache sunglasses out of cardboard.

I looked in the mirror, wearing a slouchy beanie and I felt as if for the first time, I fully understood the phrase, “home is not a place, but a feeling.”

Lots of things have been keeping me up, the anticipation of my next Linear Algebra assignment dropping, the mystery of a stolen and returned record from our last party, the excitement of our new dishwasher, but this tops them all.

I can feel myself in possession of a mug, shoutout Nell’s roommate, that says, “I’m not slurring my words, I’m speaking cursive.” I can feel myself, as if pushed by some unseen force, drawn to craft beer. I can feel myself talking about the best mustache pomade brands with my friends.

I remind myself of Jared Leto, is it method acting, or is this who I have become?

Three people have told me the hipster look is unsettlingly natural on me. If hipsters existed twenty years ago, I would like to imagine I am one reincarnated, although in this world it doesn’t make sense.

I keep thinking about that Happy Endings episode where Penny starts to like a hipster and because of it, tries to transform.

They said the hipster rules were as follows:

1. Never put effort into anything

2. Only like things ironically

3. You can never show too much enthusiasm

4. Everything is dumb

I think this hipster movement has been brewing ever since I took the male archetypes quiz and was presented with a man in a fedora and suspenders, telling me I was definitively a Beta.

Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee, I say. I even already have a blog. I am the Eminem TikTok woman . I dream of Harry Potter. I can feel myself itching to draw a mustache on the side of my finger and look wistfully at pictures of Zooey Deschanel.

I am millennial and millennial is me.