Day Intha Life

Luca

May 4th

Day Intha Life

11: My family, aunt, and Paul were downstairs. They had too much energy and i was groggy, so I was pissy, showered, left. (1)

12: I got to AA half an hour late- I’m starting to see new friends when I walk in, and I’ve only been going for a week. Im grateful. I missed Prentice speak, I wish I hadn’t.

1: Meeting is over. They’re so nice and we’re getting food. 

2: Made a friend who knows my old friend. 

3: Was less eventful. Alex was with me and i was drinking another coffee. I was excited to write which is funny because what I want to write was a sad story. I didn’t write it. (2)

4: The same.

5: I got antsy after half doing some work and half joking with Alex and we left to leave each other but got dumplings at sat in the park instead. Chinatown is busy.

6: we sat for a while. Biked the bridge to meet Gabe who I was supposed to thrift with, but he was happy to tell me that he went alone and found a lot. I was happy to because he doesn’t get out alone much.

7: Met Kieran and the three of us waited way too long for the F. He went to Chinatown and I went home for dinner. (3)

8: Dad made a nice soup, a meal missing gluten and dairy because his and my moms old friend has mad allergies. Her name is natashi and she’s an awesome sweet hippie lady.

9: Talked with Natashia about her work and my struggles, she’s getting her phd and I think it’s awesome when adults go back to school. Gonna bike back to the city. (4)

10: I saw my friends, they were low energy and I thought I’d go to this party or a meeting when they went their ways, but while waiting on pizza I decided to go to a bar with Gabe.

11: The bar was real Latino and this Mexican fighter was on so they were Litty, and you know how I fuck w Latinos. Still weird to be around beer, Gabe said his tasted bad and you can guess what my only instinct was. It was lemme try. I didn’t.

12: More bar, good talking, leave to Reggio.

1: I really love Reggio, and me and Gabe are having fun and talking more seriously about creativity and girls. I like that it’s late and I can speak well. We’re cracking up because he keeps fumbling around when he goes to the bathroom because this Gabe’s type goth girl is sitting nearby. 

2: This really drunk and impossibly well spoken 6’2 girl sits with us because her friends are mad at her. I don’t think they really have the right, and she’s awesome. Gabe’s upset because she says bye to me and not him, and was flirting with me a little. He’s the jealous type, but gets over it quick.

3: Train home. We’re having fun, and I know he drank about half what he usually does because I’m always talking about sobriety now. It’s still a lot of beer though, and we’re retelling Justin’s jokes from the last couple days.

 I get home and finish this little project for Violet that I didnt say I was doing for her today.

(2)

For you

I can spread it

Because it’s not for me

And itss far from about me

That I, can give it

A grin, a thought

Is about you

Its barely even of me

(1)

Woke up Bad

Today,

I woke up bad

Snarky, reactive

Nothing happened

Of course it didn’t 

I just woke up

Bad, stressed, defensive 

Now I know it’s me, 

Just me- that I don’t need reason

That this lit in my stomach is,

Some days, it just is

And I spent so long,

So so long without that click

Your pit or cloud, or weight

It doesn’t tell you

(3)

View from over the dock

When I was younger, 

When I would bike home

From a bad day at school,

I don’t remember but probably 

I would look over conover street

To look at the water

The road sloped low

So I couldn’t see the dock,

Or the guy who hangs on it

It was just water

High in the afternoon

Low in the morning,

when I checked my shoulder

And I felt warm

And I felt nice 

And I felt safe

Now I’m taller,

And I can see the dock

But I still remember when I couldn’t

(4)

On the train back out

I’ll be there tomorrow 

To sit and watch her play

And somehow wish I could too

I was home for dinner

She was mad at me

And she’s real strong

So I’ll be there

I want to, too

She’s a special girl

I know I’m her brother

But I’m right, too

She’s strong 

And she’s sweet

and she’s a special girl

I was home for dinner

But now I’m writing,

From the train back out

So she’s mad at me,

But she’s asked if I’d be there

I said yes

She said 

‘I’m still mad at you’

And said I know