Hello to my fans and readers,
I am writing this on my first of four 5 hour car rides this week. In other words, my first of two pilgrimages to Massachusetts. Why? Good question.
Some updates that you may be curious to know…
I have new American flag shoelaces. My shoes have stars on them, my laces have stars on them. My socks often have stripes on them, my shoelaces have stripes on them. Now, upon meeting me, it will be even clearer to people that I’m American. Finally! Dreams do come true.
It’s quite a sight, if I’m being honest. Good thing I didn’t walk around NYC too much today, otherwise people would have been falling over in jealousy. I have my red Patagonia backpack, my blue sparkly shirt, my track pants, the aforementioned shoelaces (of course), AND polka dot socks that match my Frost Valley water bottle.
Side note: I’m dressed like an American flag without even trying, red, white [on the track pants] and blue. Stars [barely - I’m counting the sequins] and stripes [again on the track pants].
I’m wondering, are there Canadian flag shoelaces? As I’m sure you’re now wondering the same, (especially my Canadian readers) yes. Yes there are.
Last night, I spent the delirious moments before falling asleep daydreaming about the Fourth of July. In this scenario, someone, I don’t know who, comes up to me. They say- Violet, what fun Fourth of July shoelaces! Did you buy those for today?
HAHA. I’ll say back. You would’ve thought, wouldn’t you. These are my daily shoelaces. These shoelaces don’t come easy. I had to scour the internet, pages and pages, to come across these little things. Plus, they didn’t have the right length for me, so I got them custom. CUSTOM. These aren’t just any Fourth of July shoelaces.
Realistically, I will not be wearing them on Fourth of July. It’s too meta.
I’m listening to Beast of Burden (again) and wishing I was Mick Jagger.
While I feel slightly disgruntled about all of the time I’m spending in the car, I have high hopes for this weekend.
I’ve learned that writing out my goals helps them come into fruition. So, here they are:
Study up on the Massachusetts accent
Get my first summer ice cream cone
Make another blog post
Go viral on LinkedIn
Meet Joe Biden
Learn how to pronounce Schenectady (which I spelled right on the first try, thank you)
Show off my new shoelaces
Change the national spelling of Connecticut to Conneticut to switch it up
Learn how to make styrofoam
Get called a Masshole
Not get allergic to the remnants of cat hair in the house I’m staying in
Stop tying my shoelaces like a child (start using the bunny method)
Find the perfect clothes at Savers and cry of joy and start hitting my head on the table because I’m so happy
One of my coworkers recently asked me what my nationality was. I replied, nothing interesting; I’m just general white. I thought back on this. Why? Was I embarrassed of the truth? I should want to shout it from the rooftops.
“I’m half Midwestern! I have Massachusetts blood! I’m a WASP.”
I need to start being proud of my heritage.
Maybe this pride just comes with knowledge. To get this knowledge, I’ve decided to learn about my culture. They say the best way to learn is through teaching, so I figured that, especially since this week I’m returning to homeland Massachusetts, I would take this opportunity to educate the masses on what it means to be me.
So, here you are. This might be useful if any of you are about to play a WASP in a play, or maybe you just started dating one and are looking for a birthday present.
Types of cream my people (New Englanders) enjoy:
Heavy cream
Cream cheese
Sour cream
Creamer
Ice cream
Creamed corn
Whipped cream
Cold cream
Cream-colored furniture and paint
Irish cream liqueur
Honorable mention: butter, cottage cheese and mayo. Unfortunately none of these have cream in the title, so they didn’t make the cut.
Violet
Ps. Sorry in advance for the lack of pictures in my recent posts, I am really close to being out of storage on Wix. Oops!
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