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Reality Stars Turned Musicians

Those who get to talk to me on the daily may know that I have recently been nothing short of obsessed with reality TV.


I'm not really sure what happened, as I have never really watched reality before, but I remember seeing a TikTok about how your taste buds change with age. Maybe it's the same thing with TV after turning 19. In a matter of weeks, I have gone from watching zero to four reality shows. The ones currently capturing my attention, which I highly recommend, are the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Tour de France: Unchained, MILF Manor, and the Golden Bachelor.


The ones on my watchlist currently are the Hills and Laguna Beach, for reasons you might understand by the end of this post. (Heidi Montag).


What was born out of my natural sense of curiosity has developed into what Alienor called an addiction, as my initial exploration of Erika Jayne from RHOBH's Spotify has turned into this post. Use your weaknesses to your advantage, they say.


This is in no particular order, other than my two favorites, Heidi Montag and Erika Jayne. Also, all of the following information is from various sources on Reddit or my own personal mind.


Here is a link to my curated "Reality Stars" playlist, with all the songs quoted and mentioned included. This is only the beginning of my journey, please share other reality stars turned musicians if you know of any.


Heidi Montag

I unfortunately don't know much about her, as I have yet to watch any of the shows she has appeared on, but after Eliza introduced me to her music, my life was forever changed. Now, I see every moment that passes as one that brings me closer to watching the Hills. Every song I hear of hers is my new favorite.


Searching "Heidi Montag reddit" on Google, I saw that the second link to appear was titled "Heidi Montag Says She Almost Died After Having 10 Plastic Surgeries At Once: ‘I Was in Immense Pain’." That link brought me straight to the thread r/popculturechat, upon which I saw a picture of Ben Affleck drinking, GASP, Starbucks. What happened to respecting your culture, your roots?


"(It isn't fair) that I wear diamonds for breakfast"

"They say I'm superficial, some call me a bitch, they just mad cause I'm sexy, famous, and rich"


Erika Jayne

I love her so. My favorite moments from RHOBH season 13 so far are her asking her therapist how to develop empathy, and her trying to convince the world her weight loss was in fact NOT Ozempic, but the ever so elusive 'hormones.'


I'm not sure what possessed me to look her up on Spotify, maybe she mentioned her music on the show, maybe I saw it on the RHOBH reddit, maybe I saw it online somewhere. All I can say is that I wonder if I was put on this earth to make it to this moment, find her music, and spread it to the world.


My favorite lines are:

"I'm a royal diplomat, I can be your backdoor mat"

"Wop boys rock my world, I like to play with all my girls, but money makes me hard and tight, I love to bathe in cash and pearls" (according to the internet, wop is a derogatory term for Italian-Americans).

"My kitty's like a python, tick-tickin' like a time bomb"

"Wanna smash that club like brah, brah"

"How many fucks do I give? None, not one, zero, zero, zero, done."

"I'm a sex shooter, shooting love in your direction"


Either Eliza or Jaimie said "what ever happened to heavy breathing in songs?" and I would like to extend the question. In "Everybody Wants Some" Erika has this and more, with cat noises spread throughout the track.


Kim Kardashian

She only has one song, but god is it good. Jam (Turn It Up) had a huge impact on the world that is still felt to this day, IMHO. Although, I have to admit, it is hard for me to listen to this song without thinking about millennials. For those of you who don't know, two months ago, I went with Ady, Alienor, Eliza, Jaimie, Maddy and Molly to Drag Queen Trivia. One of the sections was non-musician celebrities with songs, where they played a fifteen or so second snippet and you had to guess who sang it, One of these songs was Jam (Turn it Up), and the hostess RAVAGED us for knowing what it was. I will spare you of the gory details, but the gist of it was "of course the Gen-Z group knows this one." This ruthless bullying got to me, ad I cry myself to sleep about it sometimes. As Jill Biden once said, it's ok to not be ok.


I wonder if Jam (Turn It Up) drew influence from Party In The U.S.A.


Kim Zolciak

Kim Zolciak starred on RHOA (Real Housewives of Atlanta), and had a spin off show called "Don't Be Tardy." Can you guess why?


I have to admit, I am not the hugest fan of this one, as I can hear her voice warble even with the aut0-tune. (I do feel bad saying this, as the first article that came up for me was titled "Kim Zolciak's husband Kroy Biermann ordered to SURRENDER his Rolls-Royce." I can't even imagine going through something so tragic, so clearly, she is struggling. It's just not who I am to beat a horse while it's down). I tried to find a silver lining, and "Tardy For the Party" has a good message. (Especially coming from someone hosting a party this weekend).


"Do your research honey, click them keys and Google me." This inspires because I did Google her.


Countess LuAnn

I really appreciate her song "Money Can't Buy You Class" because it makes me think, and I love things that make me think. While listening to it, I can't help but wonder who inspired this song. I also love passive learning, and the song is basically her dictating etiquette lessons to the listener.


I (someone working on educating herself), had never heard of Countess LuAnn. I have, though, been meaning to watch Real Housewives of New York, because, (DUH) homeland, and according to what may have been BuzzFeed (not something I am proud of), RHONY is the best Real Housewives universe. How could it get better than Beverly Hills? I don't know. Hope is a wonderful thing, and so I will choose to believe it until proven otherwise. Anyways, you can imagine my surprise when I looked her up on Google and learned she is a regular cast member of the show. I also learned that she married a Frenchman, so do with that what you will.


"Cabaret's my Cabernet." I don't understand what this means, but I am sure if I did it would be powerful.

"F Bombs on the G, do you know me?" According to Google, the "G" is slang for her private jet. I still like to imagine she's talking about the G train, so I relate to this one.

"Pajama parties, dressed in blue, classy and sassy, you know how we do"

"F bombs were flying, and the best part yet, was how everyone loved it, and then got upset"


Paris Hilton

Recently, I heard Ady talking about the movie "House of Wax." Overcome with excitement about how I finally knew one of her movie references, I almost tripped over myself bringing up Paris Hilton. Turns out, the 2o05 version was merely a remake. I've been obsessed with Paris Hilton since middle school on a fateful day in 7th grade with Olivia Gershweir. (Maybe it was because of House of Wax, maybe we watched the movie because Paris was in it. I'm not sure how it went down exactly, sue me). Even better, Paris Hilton's mom is in RHOBH, and the sister of Kyle Richards, which I didn't previously know. Paris Hilton is pop culture in the 21st century, from her music and her persona to her engagement. Tell me, how many people have a movie made about getting engaged to their fiancé? (Even with the the alternative telling of events). The movie called Falling for Christmas if you haven't been lucky enough to see it).


I also especially enjoyed the recent controversy about her newborn's absolutely massive head.


"You're the pickle in my sandwich, make me wanna eat you up"

Kenya Moore

Talk about Real Housewives! We have another one, Kenya Moore hailing from Atlanta. I don't know much about her, and I can't be bothered to look it up at this point in the post. I will, however, share my favorite lines. These are good for those of you who have been searching for the perfect comeback. Heads Up Phones Down does not support bullying!


"You say I'm fake, I say I'm fabulous. You say I'm old? I say I'm fabulous"

"You say I'm broke, I say I'm fabulous. You say I'm single, I say I'm fabulous."


Debra Danielsen

I absolutely love her versatility, from her making "Grandmas Love" in 2020 to "BULLETS & BOOZE" in 2021. I did, however, not enjoy listening to "White Woman's Rap" and, actually, most of her discography. It was no surprise to me to learn she was in Teen Mom (Not as a mom, as a grandmother). Actually, if Alienor, Charlie, Jaimie and I had watched only one more episode of 16 & Pregnant, I would have met her, as she is the mother of Farrah, the main character of episode 2.


"Allow me to reintroduce myself. Hello, I'm Debra"

"Everybody throw your hands up high if you have your shit together"


Scheana Maria

Google taught me that she appeared on "Vanderpump Rules," which is amazing news because this might be the ammunition I need to finally start watching it.


"A-P-P-L-E-S, how you like them?" I wonder if the soldiers in WWI ever thought about how the saying "how you like them apples" would inspire such powerful art. I hope it would make them proud.


DJ Pauly D

I have never watched Jersey Shore, and I admittedly do not know much about DJ Pauly D. Despite this, I have always held reservations about him actually being a DJ. It's kind of like how I get by without having watched many of the so called "classic" movies, some things seem so obvious people just assume. The fact that DJ is in his name makes me think so many people assume he DJs that he never actually needs to get around to it. Life is about growth, which I felt when I listened to his hit song, "Beat Dat Beat." It really made me doubt my assumptions. You know what they say, assuming makes an ass out of you and me. The word 'magic' falls short to describe what happens when this song is on.


"I don't represent all Italians, I represent myself"

"It takes me 25 minutes to do my hair"

"Yo, how come every time I'm DJing, there will be a hot ass girl, with an ugly ass friend. C'mon man"

"Gym, tan, and laundry. You gotta stay fresh." Today, I learned what GTL stands for. Unexpected.


Sharon Stoned by Chanel West Coast honorable mention, I am sick of research. It's hard balancing blogging and being an academic.

 
 
 

My favorite pop culture moments of the 21st century

Those who know me know my life goal, my mission of the past few months, the task that has consumed my every waking moment is my growing list of the best pop culture moments of the past two decades. Luckily, I am surrounded by an abundance of information on this topic. My friends, my family, reels, the Wall Street journal.


Ady gave me the wonderful idea of posting an edited version of this list on here, so this may be the first of a few editions. If revenge is a dish best served cold, knowledge is one meant to be shared.



“Imagine” Gal Gadot et al. I think my life was forever changed when I first watched Gal Gadot’s creation at the beginning of quarantine.


Sometimes I think to myself, if this video was created in the 60s, the US wouldn’t have ever landed on the moon. It’s been explained to me that the government pushed so hard for a moon landing to unite the country and prove to others (Russia) that the US had delicious tech worth all sorts of envy. If Gal Gadot’s video had been spread around, I think the US would have shoved that in Russia’s face instead, and all the money spent on NASA just wouldn’t have been necessary. Also, talk about uniting the nation.


I can’t see images in my mind when I close my eyes; I think this is because the loop of the celebrities faces would be playing constantly. I would be too distracted to live a normal life, and disaster would ensue. Whenever I’m having a bad day, I find myself going into the “watch later” section of YouTube and pulling it up. At this point, I don’t even realize I’m doing it. Muscle memory, what can I say?



Kelly Osbourne. I love this video. She is so confident in her answer, pausing as if she's waiting for a standing ovation. Immediately as she sees the other judges reactions, all life leaves her eyes.


I first learned of Kelly Osborne when watching Project Runway Junior. I never heard much else about her, and I still don’t know or care who Ozzy Osborne is. I saw online it's Osbourne maybe but maybe not. I know she’s famous, I’m not sure for what, and I guess that should have told me all I needed to know. There was a Mr. Osborne at my middle school, and I always imagine them to be related, although I think this is a reach.


Anyways, she had fallen to the back of my mind until one day this spring, when I saw her distinctive purple hair on reels. I do wonder what she’s up to now, and if she ever lies awake at night replaying this moment.



(27:00-27:22) No pop culture list would be complete without THE James Charles and Tati feud. This was one of the most pivotal moments of my life. For more on this, I suggest reading Maddy’s guest post “My Lord And Savior JC (James Charles)” if you haven’t already. If you’re lucky enough to get to see me in person, you might even be able to spot a pin on my back back made by the very same Maddy. What’s on it? Tati's face, in addition to her words of wisdom “and you did it at my birthday dinner.” I am still working on having that part of her YouTube video memorized (slowly but surely). I’ll get there eventually.



I like that laugh. This video is on here more for the effect it had on me personally than the cultural impact. I don’t remember when I first watched this video, or the reason why it drew me in so intensely, but for a short period of my life I found myself returning to it over and over. If I wasn’t rewatching the fifteen second clip, I was thinking about it. I was, at this point, heavily addicted to TikTok, and it was very prominently featured on my fyp.


As one does, I began to make references to it in my every day life, imitating both Justin Bieber and the interviewer. You know when, as a child, people tell you not to make faces so much or they’ll stick? Well, I learned my lesson. The laugh? It stuck. For a few weeks, uncontrollably and before I could even notice, my laughter morphed into none other than this very journalist’s. I’m not going to sit here and tell you this pissed me off, I was actually very pleased with myself. Still, though, it was a lot.



Awesome by Spose Dixie Charlie. I quote this video all the time. All the time. It seems to come up naturally in most conversations. I never was that into the Hype House drama, but this one sticks with me nonetheless.



Demi Lovato yogurt shop feud. I forget about this often, but I think its impact should not be forgotten. This feud showed the blind mentality of cancel culture like no other, as Demi Lovato called out a FroYo shop on their story for having sugar free flavors. Quickly, the shop replied those flavors were in fact for people with diabetes and not to promote EDs like Lovato was suggesting. I guess I have to respect Demi Lovato for feeling so strongly about this FroYo that they started a days long public feud - more than that I just wish I could have sent my love to their entire PR team. No press is bad press, I suppose! Got them back on the books for a while. I also love FroYo so this made it on the list.



Joe Biden falling off his bike. I don’t think this video changed the world in the same way as the others but it definitely changed my world. It reminded me of seeing Bill Clinton in Velcro shoes. Celebrities, they’re just like us!


I recently have been thinking a lot about how time travel would crush me. While, like anyone, I have many things I would love to do, the idea that  no one in the world would know who any of these people are might be a burden too heavy for me to bear. I have a wealth of knowledge on this stuff, which grows every day. All this, useless in a matter of seconds. It has been suggested to me that I could become James Charles, even asking my suitors for IDs before I begin a conversation with them - but I’ve decided to skip that idea (mainly for the pedo sexting teens part). Also, as I read on an inspirational psoter in middle school “be who you are, everyone else is already taken.” In my specific case, if I time traveled to before these people were born this would be untrue, but I think the message still stands. Plus, if I learned anything from the movie Yesterday, pretending gets you nowhere good in the end.


I am only so strong, at times I think of all the magical parts of time travel and daydream, but eventually I remind myself of the neon sign decorating the apartment wall of my downstairs neighbors. “This is my land.” This is my era, these are the celebrities of my time and no one can take that away from me. The internet, what a beautiful thing.


P.S. Let me know your favorites, and I'll add them to the master list. Open source!


FULL LIST

Pop culture moments

  • James Charles getting swatted

  • Kendall Jenner Pepsi ad

  • Gal gadot imagine

  • Kelly Osborne immigrants

  • I like that laugh

  • Awesome by Spose Dixie Charlie

  • Bella hadid not being allowed to have designer until she was older

  • James Charles and Tati feud (Like, sucking dick and cock. Like, I'm just like, oh my god, time and place. And you did it at my birthday dinner.)

  • Steve Harvey announcing wrong miss universe

  • Kendall cutting a cucumber

  • All of mannequin challenge

  • Homeboys gonna like get it Bella hadid

  • Ooo lil Wayne ooo ooo mmm just too good

  • Charli let me in please

  • Natalie Portman Johnny depp asl video

  • The blue gold dress

  • Laurel yanny

  • Team 10

  • Justin Bieber Anne frank

  • Logan Paul suicide

  • Bella hadid switching accents

  • Jake Paul diss tracks

  • Noah beck vinnie hacker

  • Just working hard so I can please you

  • Nick Jonas huge nipples

  • Justin Bieber being kicked out of club for joint

  • Justin Bieber throw up on stage

  • Ice bucket challenge

  • Poot lavato

  • Demi lavato yogurt shop feud

  • Cash me ousside

  • Dula peep

  • Joe Biden falling off his bike

  • Sia autism movie

  • Armie hammer cannibalism

  • I’m Kendall Jenner I have a vagina I’m gonna explore that right now

  • They’re trying to cancel who? Gen z is trying to cancel who?

  • Fergie cartwheel

  • Fergie anthem

  • Kamala wheels on the bus and Venn diagrams

  • freaks like me todrick hall

  • Trisha paytas masturbation hoodie

  • Grimes reading communist manifesto

  • Scott disick shaving kourtneys vagina

  • Demi lavato singing skyscraper to et

  • Coleen ballinger ukulele pedo apology

  • James Charles singing hate comments

 
 
 
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