Homeward Bound

12/05/22 - 10:32 PM

Honestly, I would say the title is a bit of a stretch because I haven’t left the station yet.

To keep it real, as I do, I was praying that I would be taking this bus with at least one other student. Unfortunately, the only students on this bus, if any, are a part of continuing studies: I’m the youngest person here by roughly fifteen years.

After the last time I took a Trailways, (NY to Phoenicia), I was traumatized. Leaving obnoxiously early, as per usual, the trains were fucked up, and I was cutting it close. I kept telling myself it was fine, but once I got to the station, I was not able to find the bus. At this point, the clock was ticking, and I was freaking out. After a minute, I came to my senses and just asked one of the hundred people working there; I found it pretty fast. Figures. I got there in the nick of time; they were closing up the suitcase rack.*

This time, though, I made it with no issues. Knock on wood. I’m listening to Simon and Garfunkel, so at least the homeward-bound title is correct in one right. Well, not even, because as I’m finishing this sentence I’m listening to Blues Run the Game by Jackson C. Frank. Yes, Simon and Garfunkel did cover it, but it’s not nearly as good.

I would say most covers don’t live up to the original, but that’s just so wrong. Like: Mama You Been On My Mind, for example.

Thanks to Celeste’s expertise, I checked if the charger at my seat worked. It did, but imagine if it didn’t?? Disaster.

Some questions I thought of on the bus; please let me know any answers. As usual, I looked them up, but it didn’t feel right to press on any of the links. I did learn, however, a lot about the purposes of different colored lights.

My initial question, why is the lab on rue university lit in orange, still remains unanswered. But, I could tell you all about the optimal lighting for darkrooms. (Yes, I did already know all this from middle school, but still).

On this same journey, I was educated all about the dangers of regular lights and all of the benefits of LEDs, but the domain of the site was something like “LED lover,” so don’t take my word for it, it might be propaganda.

How is cement made? Maybe I’ll go into construction. Hey, if Lola designs the cement, I could use it to build Siobhan’s houses. (Celeste could urban plan it all). How do you fit in?

Why do gnocchis lift when cooked? Like yes, density, but explain.

As the bus lifts off (starts driving), it really does feel like the end of an era. I even finished my tube of toothpaste perfectly, killing the tube the last time I brushed my teeth in Montreal. Before you even say anything, I didn’t try to make this happen artificially. I used the same amount as usual and used it to its very end. It’s just magic.

The magic of Arm and Hammer, you might say. One of my floor mates uses Arm and Hammer too; I noticed a couple of weeks ago. It was a real turning point for me. I felt affirmed; seeing representation in real life really gave me the courage to continue letting my freak flag fly. I feel like I can be myself unabashedly.

Also, for all of you curious, I learned my blood type - 18 years in. I would tell you, but the people at the cybersecurity assembly in elementary school said to not to share personal information on the internet.

I will share something else that has been (roasting) in my mind, however (That was good, huh??). I love Rotisserie chicken. It is undervalued in today’s society, I think. I hope this rings true with some of you. It smells and tastes amazing every time.

It’s also come to my attention that quite a few people don’t know what sheeple means. Besides the fact that it seems obvious, sheeple. Sheep - ple. Sheep - people. Duh.

Really, though, this isn’t even a new term. According to my research, it originated in the 1940s. On top of this, it’s officially been a word since 2017. So, you all have no excuses. Here and now, I’m just going to say that I vote it should become a part of the 21st-century toolkit to know what this means because if I have to explain it to one more person, I’m going to go crazy.

I also wondered - If there was a meteorite tsunami could you go in a plane? Of course, naturally, I went on Quora to find my answers. Unfortunately, it was lacking, which came as no great surprise. I had some serious answers, people taking the concept at face value, but others asked questions like, “could you just go in a pool?”

Um, No. Why? Physics.

(Really though, I’m not sure about the mechanics, but don’t you think if massive tsunamis could be survived by taking a quick dip in the shallow end, it would be more talked about? You’re right; I’m sorry. Probably not. No, it was a good idea; I’m sure you’re just the first to think of it, that’s why).

Do you guys think it’s awkward when only one member of a bans solo career pans out?

- Violet

*Fair warning, this is a dramatized retelling of events. I forgot a lot of the story, but the gist of it is true. Plus, I wasn’t alone; Mia was with me. So, there’s that.

Warming up the Winter, One Invention at a Time

Today, walking back from the grocery store, I saw the absolute coolest construction machine. Unfortunately, I have no idea what it was for because I know nothing about construction. I also didn’t take a picture. I did, however, try and draw it. Turns out, I don’t have a career in drawing construction equipment. Oh well, I’ll cross it off the list.

Seeing the construction sites always makes me curious. Like - how is cement made?

I also wondered: Why does certain pasta float when cooked?

And why, at McGill, is there only carpeting on half of the stairs? Do people not need it going up? Do they not have the budget to pay for the carpet on both sides? Does it cause traffic jams in winter?

I thought, maybe it’s just a Canadian thing, and I don’t understand the culture yet. But, on this same walk, I noticed that other buildings often had carpeting on both sides.

I even noticed exciting innovations, like the battery-powered stairs warmer. It reminded me of my recent invention ideas, which the people around me have repeatedly shot down.

My first was shoes with powerful electric heat warmers on the soles. If warm enough (super hot), I thought these could quickly melt the snow underneath a person’s feet and prevent them from slipping. Plus, I’m sure the heat emitted from underneath would do something to protect your feet inside the shoes.

But, this idea has issues. Melted snow is water, and frozen water is ice. These shoes would make the roads icy, which is even more hazardous. This could be solved by everyone buying them, a worldwide takeover, but then the problem of social inequality is introduced. What about the people who can’t afford my invention? They’d be subjected to a life of walking on dangerously icy roads.

If everyone bought these shoes, there would also be a significant uptick in electricity use, as the people wearing them would have to charge them every so often. Plus, I’m sure they couldn’t be great for the environment.

Then, I thought of electric earmuffs, but apparently, those have already been invented. God, if I had been born in the 1200s, I could have come up with so much great stuff.

I also noticed these trees wrapped in the same plastic as often found around Christmas trees.

I’d assumed that the purpose of this plastic was to create space, so the Christmas tree farmers and sellers could transport them easily, but that didn’t make sense in this context. I tried looking it up, but the first results were all about protecting the tree from the sun and ice, which I don’t see how this would do, considering all of the holes.

LMK.

-Violet

ID Realizations and the 3 Cs

Now, as I say this, you might think, girl, this is common sense. Well, maybe so.

I have a distinct memory of one of my coworkers at my job in sophomore year showing me that we could scan our IDs without taking them out, nestled away behind tens of other cards in a wallet.

I was stunned. That was the day I became a woman, I think.

The realization slipped my mind, irrelevant in my daily life for years afterward. I thought back on it once in a while, but it never came into use.

Finally, I can use this nugget of information for my own good.

Unfortunately, I can’t seem to wow those around me, gifting them the life-changing new outlook that was given to me. In my years of ID slumber, everyone else seemed to have caught on for themselves.

Oh well. I’m good for other things, I suppose.

Given the ample time it has had to settle, I have accepted all this ID business as a fact. This is how it works, and I have come to terms with it.

However, I do still have lingering questions. How do the other IDs in wallets not interfere with the magnetic bars it’s scanning? I’m not quite sure. I tried to look it up, but all the results were about whether or not fake IDs would scan, and I didn’t feel like narrowing down the search.

I have one more design/technology thing to bring up.

Before you say I’ve exhausted this topic, I probably have. Even so, this needs to be said. Whoever created the ACT mouthwash bottle is a genius. Wow. The pristine product design leaves me speechless. I marvel at it every night. (Every night is a stretch. I marvel at it whenever I use mouthwash).

Speaking of, what's your go-to flavor? I used to be a cinnamon girl because the mint was too spicy (hey - this was a while ago). Since, I've matured, and I go for the green one. Pretty crazy stuff, huh?

What else is happening on the Northern Front? (is that capitalized? I doubt it).

The Canadians take on our culture, and we take on theirs.

Yesterday was a day of self-reflection and mixed feelings as I came to terms with the fact that I prefer Smarties to M&Ms. Now, I’m not talking about the chalky Smarties in mini hockey puck form, but the M&M knockoffs.

I don’t mean to scare my American family and friends, but it’s the truth. I love a good shell, and Smarties gives that to you. If I’m eating them straight, there’s only one way to go.

Don’t worry, though; M&Ms are still top-tier. And, when bringing popcorn into the mix, it’s no contest. Especially mini M&Ms, there is just a melt factor like no other.

As for the second half, I’ve been dealing with international linguistic barriers. (Canadians saying brick) (and cyph). Upon hearing it, I was overwhelmed with a variety of emotions. The initial wave of shock that overcame me left me unsure what to think.

As for what else I’ve been up to, the 3 Cs.

1. Calculus

2. Crosswords

3. Checking my Email

I’m in Calc 2 winter 2023, and I haven’t done very much calc since last May, so I started to get stressed about having forgotten pretty much everything.

My solution to this? Khan Academy. I’ve been having a blast. Out of the 8 units available, I’ve only done 3 so far, so all it's been is easy derivatives, limits, and integrals.

It has given my ego an irrationally large boost. There’s nothing like doing light math problems.

As for crosswords, I’ve been trying to complete all of my recent puzzles, which include Sunday ones I accidentally pressed on. I do the puzzles to fall asleep, so I’m already not in my best headspace. As a Monday girl, Tuesday puzzles are already a bit of a stretch, so Sunday is pushing it.

Thankfully, I can cheat. The auto-check feature has never come more in handy.

And - I’ve learned a vast amount of fun facts. Like: Akron, Ohio is the rubber capital. (Not even the rubber capital of the US, but of the world. Wild). It’s a bit of a slap in the face to the people from Akron, being told the most interesting thing about their city is that they manufacture more rubber than most other people.

To tie it off, I’d like to address the problem of my aggressive email checking. As someone in college (sorry to my Canadian friends, university), I am not getting very many emails worth getting excited about. In fact, I can’t remember the last time someone wrote me an email unprompted.

This aside, for some reason, I still feel the urge to check it every forty-five minutes.

Often, I’m met with an empty inbox. On exciting days, VP Internal has emailed me about god knows what, or Youtube has updated their privacy agreement.

I even caught myself checking it at 2:17 AM last night (after looking around 1). I’m not sure who I thought would be contacting me by email past 9 pm, but I guess I must have thought there was a possibility.

I would blame it on deleting Instagram, but this problem had stuck around since middle school when I first got a phone with a mail app. It’s not one I see going away, so for my own sake, I can only hope that I start to receive more interesting results.

You know, back when I signed up for the Student Search Service and was bombarded with hundreds of emails every day from colleges that I wasn’t even considering, I was bitter and ungrateful. Oh, how I miss those days. My inbox was always full. No matter the day, no matter the hour, I had unread emails waiting for me patiently.

Overwhelmed with naivety, I slowly but surely unsubscribed myself from each mailing list, and before I could blink, my socialite email days were gone.

Maybe I need to sign myself up for a few spam pages.

-Violet

PS. "Sundaes on Saturdays" (I know) has fulfilled my lifelong dream of Papa's Freezeria in real life. Wow. Just wow.